Tag: Human Connection

Action Beats Words: Dating, RULER, and the Need for Connection

September 19th, 2025
Goodness, I’m behind.

This week I’m mixing three ideas in one catch-up post: dating, RULER, and social connection.

Finding My Footing Again

After another failed relationship, I finally gave myself space to breathe.

For half my life, I’ve been in relationships. Taking a break from the suffocating feeling of being with a partner you no longer connect with was a relief I didn’t know I needed. It gave me room to feel like myself again — to set my own schedule, finish some milestones, and enjoy the freedom of choice.

Sometimes that meant working late. Other nights it meant curling up early with a book. Right now, I’m reading Sapiens, which feels like a must-read for any human. The insights keep pulling me into reflection, and in many ways, they come full circle into how I see life right now.

Two Dates in One Weekend

So, I stepped back into dating. Two dates, one weekend.

Of course, there were nerves and fleeting thoughts of the future, but I reframed them as if they were client meetings. Share a meal, enjoy the conversation, no obligations.

Date One:
We talked for hours. I left with my throat sore from how much I shared. Later that night, I even went down a rabbit hole watching a movie related to his profession — a 90s film starring Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie. Yes, the one where they met, married, wore vials of blood, and bragged about limo escapades. The curiosity in me couldn’t resist.

Date Two:
We didn’t lock down a time, so I nudged without being pushy. I even offered to drive downtown — it had been a while since I’d walked those streets, and it felt like a nice way to spend a Sunday.

The date? I laughed so hard my abs hurt. There were moments of sarcasm that made me glitch mid-conversation — hearing things like “you’re a bad date” or getting cut off. Odd, yes. But overall, it went well. We walked, we sat on a park bench, I even challenged him to cartwheels (yes, sanitizer was provided after).

Both invited me to a second date. Both seemed promising — which, if you’ve dated in New York, you know is shocking.

Fizzles, Ghosts, and the Strange In-Between

Date One fizzled slowly. Conversations died down, and our second date never materialized.

Date Two was more engaging. We had common ground, conversations that flowed. Then Friday evening: ghosted.

By Sunday, he texted: “I don’t ghost. Great meeting you. You’re witty, infectious…” You know the script. I responded politely. It could have ended there — but it didn’t.

He messaged me again, this time on the dating app, declaring how much he liked me.

Then why cancel our second date?

We went back and forth, clarifying. He said something I’ll never forget:
- I showed I liked him with actions but left him disappointed.
- He showed attraction with words but left me disappointed.
That’s when it clicked.

Words vs. Actions

I spent years with someone who said everything right but never showed it in action.

So, was this date a blessing in disguise? I think yes. Because in the end, words without action are hollow.

You can talk endlessly about how great you are, how disciplined, how successful. But if your actions don’t match, you just look foolish.

It reminded me that I’m sticking to my guns: red flags matter, doubts matter, and second chances shouldn’t come at the expense of your intuition.

Enter RULER

What helped me process this wasn’t just reflection — it was RULER, Marc Brackett’s framework for emotional intelligence:
- Recognize emotions in yourself and others.
- Understand their causes and consequences.
- Label emotions with a nuanced vocabulary.
- Express emotions constructively in the moment.
- Regulate emotions using helpful strategies.
Going through these steps helped me step back. Instead of spiraling in disappointment, I could recognize what I was feeling, understand why, label it clearly, express it honestly, and regulate my reaction.

That’s powerful. And it leads to something bigger.

The Heart of It: Connection

All of this ties into connection.

Once you can recognize, label, and regulate your emotions, you create space for real connection — with yourself and others. And connection is not optional.

Studies show that lacking social connection carries the same mortality risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It kills joy, drains hope, and chips away at resilience.

Yet in the age of AI and endless screens, we are drifting further from genuine in-person connection. Devices act as proxies for relationships, but they rarely fill the void.

Fast forward 20 years, and we may actually be paying for friends. In China, it’s already happening. Could the U.S. be next? Maybe. Imagine paying just to stare into someone’s eyes for a moment of human closeness.

It sounds dystopian, but the truth is: without connection, we wither.

The Takeaway

Dating reminded me of something universal.

Actions matter more than words.
Whether in romance, friendships, or work — showing up builds trust. Talking without acting only erodes it.

Pair that with emotional clarity (thanks to RULER), and you get the foundation for what we all need most: connection.

So take that into consideration.
As a date.
As a friend.
As an employee.
As a human.
Want to meet the most interesting people on earth? Post something honest online.

July 22nd, 2025
Every once in a while, you take on a new project.

Sometimes it’s fixing the leaky faucet that’s been driving you nuts. Sometimes it’s WD-40ing that creaky door so your partner or roommate can finally sleep in peace.

And sometimes, it’s something bigger: repairing the way you connect with the world.

Recently, I took on that kind of project—the kind that requires vulnerability, curiosity, and, oddly enough, a LinkedIn login.

Because the best place to write your thoughts publicly these days? Isn’t necessarily a blog. It’s LinkedIn.

Not because it’s shiny and professional, but because it’s where people are. All kinds of people—some clout-chasing, some selling digital products and promises—but a surprising number just… curious. Real. Kind.

I’ve had conversations with people from New Zealand, the UK, Sweden, Switzerland, and Canada, sparked by a single post or a passing comment. No pitch. No agenda. Just a moment of resonance.

It’s wild, really—when your words leap off the screen and occupy a small space in someone else’s mind. When your post is the thing that makes them pause and say: “I felt that.”

Then something unexpected happened.

I connected with a surgeon overseas. We exchanged a few messages. And then—he offered to send me his book.

No catch. No pitch. Just, “I think you’d enjoy this.”

And I did. I devoured it.

The book was 193 pages of human thoughts—simple, poetic reflections on life, presence, connection, and meaning. The kind of thoughts that have been rolling around in my own brain for months. Only now, I had language for them.

Topics like:
- Presence and good conversation
- Leaving when there’s no connection
- The state of flow
- Silence as a friend
- Gratitude coexisting with ambition
- Encounters without words
- Kindness without passivity
- Taking the chance—even if no one around you understands the dream
These weren’t self-help tips. They were reminders.

That we are delicate beings. That feelings linger. That warmth can come from being truly seen. That 86,400 seconds make up each day—and most people never find the door to the room they long to be in.

So why write about this?

Because in the age of AI, algorithms, and answers-on-demand… human connection still matters more than ever.

Because your thoughts do belong to you. And you can choose to share them.

Because conversations—real ones—are still how people get hired, discover ideas, and feel less alone.

Because sometimes your next big break starts with a message like, “Hey, I really liked what you wrote.”

Here’s what I’ve learned:
- Writing is a magnet for the right kind of people.
- Vulnerability builds bridges faster than strategy.
- Sharing your thoughts might change your life—but they will change someone else’s.
So start writing.

Start connecting.

Start talking to real people—on LinkedIn or in line at the coffee shop. In a world that’s optimizing everything, the best project might just be… remembering how to be human.

Tag: Human Connection

Action Beats Words: Dating, RULER, and the Need for Connection

Finding My Footing Again

Two Dates in One Weekend

Fizzles, Ghosts, and the Strange In-Between

Words vs. Actions

Enter RULER

The Heart of It: Connection

The Takeaway

Want to meet the most interesting people on earth? Post something honest online.

Then something unexpected happened.

So why write about this?

Here’s what I’ve learned: