Ever notice how weekends sometimes feel just like weekdays?

I’ve recently found myself diving into work when everyone else is winding down. There’s something oddly satisfying about working on a Saturday — no calls, no distractions, just pure focus. If your job allows flexibility, you might even experience a sense of freedom in using weekends to get ahead. It’s not about glorifying hustle culture; it’s about reclaiming time.

The End of Sunday Scaries?

Sundays used to give me the worst anxiety. I’d try to enjoy a quiet family dinner, but my mind would be racing with thoughts like, “What’s waiting for me on Monday?” or “What surprise is my boss going to drop on me next?”

These days, I’ve started knocking out a few tasks over the weekend, especially when it’s rainy and cozy and productivity just feels… natural. That small shift — making my Mondays less cluttered — has worked wonders.

Of course, this doesn’t mean I’m immune to burnout. Sometimes, I clock out early just to breathe. The key is pacing, not replacing weekends with more work. Instead, I weave work into my life in a way that feels sustainable.

If this sounds like a foreign concept, try starting small. Maybe write that Monday email on Sunday afternoon and schedule it. That small step can reduce mental clutter when Monday comes around.

The Nice vs. Kind Dilemma

That brings me to something I’ve been thinking about a lot: Are you “nice” or “kind”?

Niceness and kindness are often confused, but there’s a significant difference. It’s something worth exploring.

What Does ‘Nice’ Really Mean?

Niceness is often surface-level. It’s that “smiling through gritted teeth” or the “it’s fine” when it’s clearly not. It’s about maintaining harmony, keeping things pleasant. While it’s easy to mistake niceness for kindness, the difference lies in the intention.

In the workplace, we’re often taught to “be nice” to colleagues — even if it means compromising our own comfort. That fake smile during uncomfortable conversations. The “it’s okay” when someone drops the ball. But when we always default to niceness, we suppress our true feelings, missing opportunities for personal and professional growth.

The Power of Kindness

Kindness, on the other hand, is deeper. It’s rooted in empathy and authenticity. Kindness means doing what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable. For instance, helping a colleague when they’re struggling or being honest about your feelings when something doesn’t sit right.

It’s not always easy. Kindness can require vulnerability, putting your true thoughts out there even if it risks discomfort. But those acts of kindness build better relationships and create a more fulfilling environment, whether at work or in your personal life.

Scientific Insights on Kindness vs. Niceness

Research shows that kindness improves our well-being:

• Kindness Enhances Well-Being: A meta-analysis of 201 studies found that engaging in kind acts positively correlates with psychological well-being, suggesting kindness contributes to happiness and life satisfaction.
  
• Kindness in Academic Settings: Studies show kindness reduces stress and fosters a sense of belonging, especially in academic environments.
  
• Benevolence Promotes Cooperation: Research indicates that individuals who act benevolently are more likely to engage in cooperative behavior.
  
• Kindness and Physical Attractiveness: A study found that kindness can enhance perceived physical attractiveness, suggesting that prosocial behaviors influence how we’re seen by others.
  
• Cultural Perspectives on Kindness: Kindness manifests in various forms worldwide — including helping behaviors, politeness, and altruistic self-sacrifice.
  

Real-World Examples (NYC Style)

1. On the Subway
   
   • Nice: Saying “excuse me” when the person blasting music on their Bluetooth speaker isn’t budging.
     
   • Kind: Helping a confused tourist find their way to Brooklyn when they’re about to end up in the Bronx. You don’t have to do it, but you do.
     
2. At Work
   
   • Nice: Smiling through the awkwardness in a Zoom meeting when a coworker drops the ball again.
     
   • Kind: After the meeting, pulling them aside and saying, “I noticed you missed a deadline. Are you okay? How can I help?” This shows vulnerability and support.
     
3. In a Relationship
   
   • Nice: Saying “It’s fine” when it’s clearly not.
     
   • Kind: Saying, “I care about you, and this bothered me. Let’s talk about it.” Kindness involves transparency and emotional growth.
     
4. Street Smarts
   
   • Nice: Nodding and avoiding eye contact when someone on the street is in distress.
     
   • Kind: Taking a second to check in, asking, “Are you okay?” Or offering a bottle of water. You still keep an eye on your bag, but you show up as human.
     

Niceness is about appearances. Kindness is about intention.

In NYC?

• Niceness: The intern who compliments your shoes but won’t back you up when the boss takes credit for your work.
• Kindness: The older woman on the Q train who claps back at a loudmouth, but also gives you a cough drop and directions.

Practical Implications: What to Take Away

Recognizing the difference between being nice and being kind can transform your personal development and social interactions. Here are a few ideas to start practicing kindness over niceness:

• Authenticity Over Approval: Prioritize genuine concern for others over the need to be liked. This may mean setting boundaries or offering honest feedback when necessary.
  
• Cultivate Empathy: Engage in activities that nurture empathy — like volunteering or active listening — to build your kindness muscle.
  
• Encourage Kindness in Communities: Foster environments where kindness is valued and practiced, leading to stronger social cohesion and well-being.
  

Why Knowing the Difference Matters in Real-Time

1. Self-Awareness Changes Behavior
   When you catch yourself being nice, ask:
   “Am I doing this to avoid discomfort or to be liked?”
   Or ask, “Is this helping the other person — or just keeping me safe?”
   
   Example: You agree with a colleague’s idea, but you know there’s a flaw.
   
   • Being nice means staying quiet.
     
   • Being kind means respectfully pointing it out to prevent future issues.
     
2. Niceness Can Be Performative (And Harmful)
   Niceness often prioritizes comfort over long-term impact. It can reinforce toxic dynamics, breed resentment, and contribute to burnout.
   
   Kindness, on the other hand, may be uncomfortable, but it fosters growth, truth, and meaningful connections.
   
3. Kindness Builds Stronger Relationships
   Authentic kindness strengthens trust and deepens relationships. Niceness may smooth things over temporarily but can feel hollow or insincere.
   
   So, ask yourself: “Am I being real, or just agreeable?”
   
4. You Start to Trust Yourself More
   Kindness comes from values, not fear. It’s about making decisions you can stand by. Niceness often comes from a place of seeking approval, but kindness means trusting that what you’re doing is the right thing.
   
5. In Leadership, Kindness Beats Niceness
   In leadership roles, kindness is crucial. Nice leaders avoid confrontation and are liked, but kind leaders set boundaries, give tough feedback, and empower growth.
   
   Kind leaders may be challenging, but they build trust and respect.
   

What Happens When You Stay Nice Too Long?

When you’re “nice” for too long, things start to unravel beneath the surface:

1. You Lose Touch With Yourself
   Niceness leads to self-abandonment. You shape yourself to fit others’ expectations and lose sight of your own thoughts, wants, and needs.
   
2. Resentment Builds
   Niceness piles up unspoken grievances. You say “yes” when you mean “no,” and eventually, resentment takes over. You snap, ghost, or shut down emotionally.
   
3. Your Relationships Get Shallow
   Niceness avoids tension, but tension is where trust and intimacy grow. Without honesty, relationships remain surface-level, leaving you feeling lonely despite being surrounded.
   
4. You Drain Your Energy
   Playing nice all the time is exhausting. Constantly shaping yourself to meet others’ expectations can leave you emotionally drained.
   
5. You Miss Moments for Real Impact
   Niceness avoids conflict, but conflict often leads to growth. Being “nice” can prevent you from giving constructive feedback, challenging ideas, or speaking your truth. That’s where purpose slips away.
   

In the end, being nice keeps the peace. Being kind keeps the truth.

Play nice for too long, and you’ll lose respect — not just from others, but from yourself. Kindness, though, fosters deeper connections, authenticity, and growth.

The key? Knowing the difference while you’re doing it.

Here’s one killer question that can snap you into awareness in the moment:

“Am I doing this to be liked, or to be helpful?”

That one question slices straight through the noise. It pulls niceness and kindness apart instantly.