Time is funny. It’s rigid yet fluid, measurable yet elusive. We can’t control its passage, but we can control how we interact with it—how we spend it, reflect on it, and let it shape us. Here are a few ways to think about time, and why the way we frame it matters.

1. Time as a Resource: The Only Thing You Truly Control

There’s a quote I love: “The only thing in life you can control is where you put your time and your effort.”

Time, in this sense, is a currency. We allocate it like investments—toward people, projects, or passions that align with our values. If you don’t want to spend time with someone, you don’t have to (and often, you shouldn’t). As a sharp observation I once read put it: If you have to drink to tolerate someone’s company, they’re not your people.

Effort, too, is time in action. Whether it’s a side hustle, a career goal, therapy, or rehabilitating something broken, effort signals care. When you pour time into something, you’re declaring its importance. Conversely, neglect reveals indifference.

2. Time as the Present: What Are You Doing Right Now?

The question “What do you do?” is dull and reductive. It reduces a person to a job title, as if we’re all waiting to drop a headline like, “I’m a brain surgeon curing cancer on the first Mars mission.”

A better question: “What are you working on right now that excites you?”

This shifts the focus to how someone is spending their time—and by extension, what they value. You might meet an accountant knitting a world-record blanket or a teacher writing a novel. Suddenly, the conversation isn’t about roles; it’s about passion. Time spent = priority revealed.

3. Time as the Past: The Lessons We Carry

The past is a minefield of “what-ifs” and regrets. We’ve all mourned time “wasted”—on relationships, jobs, or choices that didn’t pan out. But hindsight isn’t just about pain; it’s about pattern recognition.

A friend once asked me: “What did you learn from that failed relationship?” After a pause, the answer came: “I’ll never make myself small for someone again.” Ouch. But there it was—the lesson, sharp and clear.

The past isn’t just a graveyard of mistakes; it’s a classroom. Reflect, extract the lesson, then apply it. Those who do this consciously enter their next chapter with fewer ghosts.

4. Time as the Future: The Balancing Act

So how do we take these insights forward? It’s like standing and attempting to balance in the middle of a seesaw.

• Stance matters. Are you equipped for balance, or are you stumbling in metaphorical high heels or slippery flip-flops?
• Distractions matter. Are you blinded by the sun (or ego, or fear), or can you focus?
• Self-awareness matters. Are you a gymnast or a football player in this scenario?

Relationships—with others, with work, with ourselves—require the same balance. You have to honor who you are now while leaving room to grow. Too rigid, and you’ll tip over. Too careless, and you’ll crash.

The Full Circle

Time isn’t just seconds ticking by. It’s:

• A mirror (how you spend it reflects your values),
• A teacher (the past whispers lessons),
• A canvas (the future is shaped by today’s choices).

So the next time you glance at the clock, ask: How do I want to look back on this moment? Then adjust accordingly.

What’s one way you’ll reclaim your time this week?